My droogies, we’ve all seen it online.
And yes, I’m going to concede that for the last 20 years, this country has done a piss-poor job of creating men. They’re lazy, they’re dumb, they expect instant gratification and they don’t expect to have to do anything for it.
I’ll tell you, I knew this was coming when I watched He-Man cartoons in college. He-Man and Sheera – he solved all of his problems by talking, while she attacked and defeated her enemies. Later we had Hercules and Xena, and it was the same thing. Now wherever you look it’s the same: women are out there kicking ass while men are discussing their feelings and whining about how they don’t understand what’s going on.
So who can blame this girl for wanting to rock it old school, especially considering that an SD can put a couple hundred bucks in her pocket on a whim, while a boy her age may or not have a working game controller to lend her so she can actually participate in the video game that occupies 75% of his free time?
Well, the police for one. When I hear ‘eighteen,’ all I focus on is ‘teen.’ If she says she’s 18 and she’s actually 16, you are begging for trouble. The fact that she is lying is actually immaterial in a court of law – you’re supposed to ID her before you have sex with her, so walking into a court to say, “I wouldn’t have paid her for that night in Vegas if I’d known she wasn’t an adult,” is going to fly like a dead pigeon.
If she’s actually an adult, and if you’re still thinking, “Well, really, what IS a 32 year age difference? My daughter was pretty mature at that age!” then let’s consider some other things.
- Maturity: have you really talked to a person under 25 these days? Their values are not our. They’re largely trained to believe that they’re intuitively smarter than anyone else, that feelings trump facts and that no one REALLY has problems, just hurdles to overcome. When you tell her she can’t have something she wants or don’t follow her advice in your life, things tend to escalate fast.
- Expectations: Most of them are baffled by the idea, “I did something for you, now I want something.” They believe that the good things in life are free, and ‘free’ means someone else pays for them, and they don’t need to think about it.
- Companionship: You’re going to have NOTHING in common with these people. Entertainment for a lot of them, for example, is to watch someone else play a video game on YouTube. Music, reading, even what they like on TV – totally alien to you. You’re thinking, “Well, my SD – that’s not what I want her for.” Well, yes, my Droogie, so true – but then you’re pretty much reconciling yourself to PPM (pay per meet), because after you put cash in her hand, she’s going to screw and leave (or just leave).
- Exposure: one thing she’s going to know right away – you’re not taking her to meet your friends. If you do, God help you. There’s a difference between the waiter asking if you would like something for your grand daughter, and your coworker’s wife thinking that you’re screwing one of her friends. You know who often understands that perfectly well? The girl – whom you’re tired of now, and who thinks nothing of posting on your Facebook page, “This old guy screwed me and now he’s dumping me!”
Drama is a whole other issue. They love it – we avoid it. When I was in my 30’s I dated a woman 10 years younger who had a hissy fit in a restaurant once. It was embarrassing for me, for the other patrons and for the staff. When she left, someone was so mortified for me that they paid my check – never found out who. When I saw her again, she told me, “I hope you learned a lesson from that.”
You don’t want to know what that 18-year-old is capable of shrieking in a public place. I’m writing this because I was exposed to it over the week – a man about my age and a girl in purple hair and a pink outfit who wanted him to ‘make’ the waiter bring her a glass of wine, and then couldn’t understand why she couldn’t just take his and have him order another one, because “What are they going to do?”
At the time, I could think of a lot of things and none of them were good.
That’s it, my Droogies. As for me, I haven’t heard from the girl I was excited about last time, and I’ve been very occupied with the multiple responsibilities that come with being able to afford this life style. You’ll get more updates in the future, I promise.
As ever, your faithful,