Hello, and welcome to the Tales of a Sugar Daddy.

I’d imagine that your first question is, “What the hell are you talking about?”  Well, to answer that, I have to tell you a little about me.

I’ve been a programmer since… well, if you want to be honest about it, since I bought my first TRS-80 Color Computer.  I used to love to sit and create code – mostly for my Dungeons and Dragons game.  Some of the stuff I wrote actually made it into the mainstream – not too bad for a kid with no access to the Internet (because the world wide web hadn’t been invented yet).

Then I went to college – UConn, home of the punch-card programming center – then I went into the Navy, and THERE, my brilliant expertise in TRS80 Basic landed me a position writing code for the Naval Nuclear Power program.  This became the core source for all of the currently-used software in the Navy today.

You’d think this would have brought me to some sort of mega-programming job when I got out of the Navy, but in fact it put me in sales for five years.  Then advertising, then back into programming, then program management, then into my own software company.

That went – kind of ok.  I made a shit-ton of money, because it was 2001 and you really couldn’t help BUT make money after the 2000 recession, and then the even-worse 2001 recession.

Eventually, it came to a point where I had to make a decision – I could grow the business and do nothing else, or I could take a step back and focus on my kids.  I chose the kids.  That was the right decision.  It also set me back to making about $78,000/yr for six years.

So here I am today, and I’m starting another business.  It’s a lot bigger – there is an issue in the business world. and most of the business world doesn’t see it: retention in IT departments.

What sort of bull shit is that, right?

Well, in fact, it’s huge.  We’re in the worst recession in history, and recession favors programmers.  I learned this in my last company – during a recession, big companies don’t buy canned software, they write it and they fix what they have.  Both of these benefit coders.  Right now coders – programmers, geeks, call us what you will – are at about 2% unemployment in an era when Obamacare has the nation sitting at around 14% unemployment.  Next year we’ll need a million new coders and we’ll only educate 100,000.

Das a fact, Jack.  So where would you rather be OTHER than sitting on a stranglehold supply of coders who can actually code?  When you’re going to a head hunter and they bring you some asshole who sort of understands Excel, what are you going to pay to someone who can bring you honest-to-God, trained programmers to maintain and to upgrade your shit?

Especially considering you have an “IT Department” where the most junior guy has been there seven years, and he thinks that Access is a development platform?

I’m doing this – I’m making bank.  I’m about to seal the deal to four and a half MILLION dollars, and I’ll keep a million of it, pure profit.  Maybe I’ll scrounge more.  I’ve arrived, mother fucker.  I’ve actually arrived.

So in comes the Sugar Daddy.

Frankly, I’m sick of women.  They piss me off.  I’ve been married twice to two of the most selfish bitches you’d ever want to meet, and then spent EIGHT YEARS engaged to a third who was threatened by how much I was sending to my kids.  No – fuck no – don’t want it.  What I want is:

To feel loved.  I don’t care if it’s real – I’ll take the Matrix.  I want to feel like it’s real.
No fucking arguing.  God BLESS me, why can’t women figure that out?  When everything is a fight, you think you’re winning but you lose, because I can roll.
Appreciation.  I’m a programmer, and I sit in front of a PC.  That is ACTUALLY work.  I am ACTUALLY tired after doing it.  If you interrupt me with ‘one quick thing,’ I lose my train of thought and I’m pissed off and mean, and THAT IS ON YOU.

So I went to  I paid for three months.  I found the right one on the first day, with the first email.  She’s perfect.  She’s EXACTLY who I want.

This blog is the ongoing diary of meeting her, the journey, the ups and the downs.  You’re going to get a blow-by-blow with stories about the actual blowing.

You’re gonna love it.

Stand the fuck by.



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