The Sugar Baby

Sugar Daddy: noun – an older, wealthy gentleman who pays for the attention of a younger girl

Sugar Baby: noun – a young, attractive woman who will trade on her looks and sexuality for the favor of a Sugar Daddy

Ask me – what the fuck could be easier?

I have money now.  My bills are paid.  After YEARS of living hand-to-mouth, where I had to actually plan what day to buy groceries on so that the check wouldn’t bounce, now my daughter can ask for a $4,500 horse, and I say, “Yes” without thinking about it.

I’m in Everett.  I live in a one-room, because I don’t want to have to clean it.  I have a dog because I wanted my own puppy, and got him, and he’s my best friend.  I take him out when I ride my horse.

So I want frequent sex on my terms from someone who isn’t going to bitch at me because I don’t appreciate her as a woman.

Seriously – what the hell is that?  I don’t appreciate you as a woman?  Do you make as much as me?  No, because you don’t do your job 1/2 the time and you see the workplace as a social gathering.  Can you make an intelligent decision about finances?  No, because you think in terms of “I should have,” and not “I can afford.”  You want me to appreciate that?  You’re fucking crazy.

So I go to SugarDaddie.com – and sure enough – packed with beautiful trollops who’ll love you long-time, Joe – at least until your cash runs out.

You know – you can spend a grand, go to Thailand and find a girl like that who thinks that $50 is a fortune.  Bring her back to the states to a house with running water and she will NEVER leave you, because she can’t believe how lucky she is.

You know what?  Considered it.  I don’t have time to go to Thailand.

But I’ve been around the block, because I’m 49, and I know from a life of sales how to find what I want.

Pretty, but not glamorous.  Believe me, pretty lasts forever, but glamorous is a transient state on it’s way to “Get back in the dog house, Fido.”  Don’t believe me?  Check out Farah Fawcett, Olivia Newton John and Cheryl Ladd.  I don’t want a Jaguar with no trade-in value.  I want a Mustang – it will never go out of style.

I found a PRETTY girl.  She’s got a young kid.  She’s a little over weight.  She’s got a crappy job about 230 miles from me in a shit-hole.  She wants a good man who will treat her right, according to her profile.  She’s a Sugar Baby.

Why her?

1. She doesn’t have a bunch of ‘fuck-me’ bikini shots on her profile
2. She’s doesn’t mention shopping or partying once on her profile
3. She’s going to react well to respect (and a lot of pretty girls don’t – they see it as a sign of weakness)
4. She’s close enough where I won’t get bored, because I can fly her here for a couple hundred bucks.

What does this mean?

I can treat her well on my terms, and she’s going to be totally blown away.  Just respect her, just be honest with her and don’t cheat, and she’s going to be so grateful that if my dick drops off in a hurricane she’ll still love me.

And she’s going to work hard to keep me interested.  She’s not going to look at blowing me as a chore – she’s going to say, “He likes this.”  If I say, “Meet me at the bar I like in the car I bought you,” she’ll be there.  She wants to keep that car.  She thinks she’s lucky to be with that man.

That’s what I want.

And for you women reading this: learn.  That is what men want.  We want to be appreciated.  We don’t want to walk in the door and be bombarded with how hard your life is, when you haven’t run a vacuum in a week and the bathroom smells like piss.  You know what I do for a living?  I balance programmers with the maturity of a backup dancer for Fitty Cent and the attitude of a hyena against clients who HONESTLY believe that a third of programming is actually magic.

When I come home, take me to the bedroom, drop my pants and blow me.  Educate the kids that this isn’t their time.  Let me know that I’m in a safe haven, then tell me why you want an au pare one day a week so you can go hit the casino with your girl friends.  You know what?  I’ll likely say, “Yes.”  What do I care?

The Sugar Baby knows this.  She knows I want her for sex, but she’s a companion, too.  She knows that I’ll tell her to dress how I like, because I’m buying the clothes.  She knows she’ll have an allowance.

If she screws up, she knows there’s 1,400 of her online waiting RIGHT NOW.  The next one might not be better, but she’ll definitely be worse off.  She knows this, and she makes me feel like she’s the only one I could be happy with.

And you know what?  I pretty much believe her.

Capitalism, baby.  Works every time

SD

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