One of the first things my Sugar Baby asked me was, “What are your deal breakers?”
Monogamy – it’s just you and me.
Don’t lie to me about anything important
Don’t steal from me
I don’t want to support your family
Them’s the basics, kiddos. Been married twice – never had any of it. Ex-wife number one was when I was enlisted in the Navy and thought I was an admiral for the money she spent, and lied about it constantly. Ex-wife #2 was a cheating whore who told me she had OCD and who was self-medicating with Zoloft that she stole from the doctor’s office where she worked. She was also trying to get pregnant so I’d have to pay her alimony and child support. That marriage lasted six months.
She ended up with a married guy and had some kind of mutant offspring because of the drugs. Karma, baby.
If you don’t have rules, you won’t have happiness, and you need to be business like about it without being an idiot. For example, don’t make one of your rules, “I want anal sex.” In fact, don’t bring that shit up at all. Sex rules are telling your Sugar Baby, “This is what I’m going to do to you all the time,” when in all likelihood its something you just want when you feel like it.
The Baby’s going to be taking it in the ass, if just to show her that I can have her take it in the ass. I’m not going to discuss it with her, I’m going to bend her over.
I asked about her deal breakers and found out that while she likes to be spanked (and more and more women do) she DOESN’T want me to think I can slap her around. Note: when a woman expresses that, it is ALWAYS because she’s been slapped around. No exceptions – don’t kid yourself otherwise. When a woman has been slapped around AND she’s left the guy, she is going to be really, really paranoid that it will happen again.
That’s not just human nature, that’s being a mammal. Either they like it and the cling to that guy, or they hate it and they’re afraid to leave him, or they left and they are on guard for it. The WORST thing you can do is to discuss it with her before she’s ready, because you’ll force her to lie about it, and then you have a whole foundation of lies you’ll have to overcome. She’s going to bring that to you when she trusts you, because she’s going to feel like she’s giving you the keys to get over on her. Someone else was able for some amount of time to slap her around, and she’s thinking that’s some mystical power guys have, and she’s afraid you have it.
Sugar Babies have problems like these. That’s why they’re Sugar Babies. Understand that if you’re walking on eggshells now because she keeps bringing it up, then she’s not ready for the relationship, and you should politely excuse yourself. If she’s just warned you she doesn’t like it or it’s one of her deal breakers, keep an eye but don’t dwell on it. You can’t fix that.
So, anyway, my Baby broke a rule right out of the gate. Her profile said she was 26, and when I bought her her airplane ticket, she admitted she was 30.
Deal breaker? I’m 49 – I could care between 26 and 30. OK, 26 was a LITTLE more exciting, but I was 18 when she was born. I’m ahead of the game. She’s very pretty.
But she lied, and that HAS to have consequences. Women who lie become bitches who lie. You’re going to invest a lot of time and, face it, a lot of money in this relationship, and you don’t want it to be over in 5 years because you can’t trust her. The consequences to getting caught have to so far exceed the benefits of lying that she won’t consider it.
An easy answer is to slap her around. Take a belt to her ass. Spank her, because she SAID she likes erotic spanking.
Nay, nay, moose-breath. That way disaster and incarceration lie. Keep this in mind, even if she has signed a piece of paper AND done a video testimony that says, “I like it when you beat me,” it won’t hold up in court. At all. Not for a second. You’re rich, she’s young, you are frigging screwed. She cries out in pain, someone hears it (or hears OF it, like her girlfriend or mom) and calls 911, and you’re done, dude. Welcome to the Drudge Report.
If you like spanking her and she likes being spanked, then you keep it light, erotic and fun. If she likes the harder BDSM stuff, take her to a munch a couple times and do it in public where there is NO DOUBT that this is her lifestyle, before you bring it into the bedroom, and then STILL keep it light, erotic and fun.
So how do you punish your Sugar Baby?
The next thing you might think of is, “Take away the money.” If she’s on an allowance, it will likely work. Do NOT surprise her with it – tell her, “In two weeks, you’re cut off for two weeks,” so that you don’t create a disaster in her life that she can’t overcome. Also, don’t make it for so long that she starts thinking to better deal you. I promise you there’s another guy out there who’ll take your semi-broken-in girl the rest of the way, and they may be happy but you won’t be.
In this case, I’m going to make her strip down for me and apologize to me. That’s humbling and humiliating. She’s going to have to explain both why she did it (though I already know) and how I know she won’t do it again. Then I’m going to make her get on her knees, stuff her panties in her mouth, cuff her hands behind her back in soft leather cuffs, and put nipple clamps on her.
I’ll likely leave them on less than a minute. They hurt like hell going on and coming off, but they don’t leave a mark at all. She’ll get over the pain. In the future, they’ll be somewhere she can see them, knowing that she’s not allowed to touch them, and it will reinforce behavior by their nature.
She could decide that means I’m not for her. If that happens, then she’s right. I’m NOT going to put up with a bunch of crap or lying, and it ALWAYS starts small.
If she does it again I’ll ask her if she’s serious, and if it keeps happening she’s gone. You need to accept that possibility or learn to tolerate it, and frankly I’m not in this to tolerate.
Meanwhile, after she goes through it, I’ll untie her and love on her for a while. THAT, my loyal followers, is unimaginably important. Women dwell, men get over. You’re thinking, ‘Fine, let’s move on,” while she’s thinking that she didn’t do anything to deserve THAT, and she’s stewing on it without saying anything. This is something you want to air out while not saying you were wrong or went too far. Your answer is, “If it never happens again, you’ll never worry about it.”
This is a dominance and submission thing. You’re going to see more of it. You have to rule the roost in this or she will, and then you’re a bank account. No one loves their bank, no matter what service they’re getting. No one is loyal to it, either.
OK, I’ve been doing this a long time tonight. I’m to bed. Sleep well, my droogies!
- Are You Ready For Sugar Daddy Dating (wiki.mozilla.org)
- How I learned about sugar daddy/sugar baby arrangements (lilsugarbb.wordpress.com)
- Book 1 of my new series, Sugar Babies, Inc. is out today! I’m so excited! (steviemacfarlane.wordpress.com)
- More Women Turning Towards ‘Sugar Daddies’ During Government Shutdown (howaboutwe.com)