Courting the naturally dominant man

Sugar babies will often say they meet two types of SD’s:

The type who ask, “Can I see more pictures of you?”

And the type who say, “Take a couple pictures of yourself when you get home and then send them to me.”

If you wonder why you see a lot more of the latter, it’s because that is a naturally dominant man, and he’s a LOT more likely to be successful. He tends to do what he says he’s going to do, including break it off if he doesn’t get his way.

Most people consider him an asshole. He’s not – he is, in fact, trying to facilitate matters and has no idea that you might feel like you’re being ordered around. If he’s started ‘telling’ you what to do, it’s because he’s comfortable with you, and in his mind he’s trying to close the deal, at least in the first stages.

But you don’t need to just swallow this if it makes you uncomfortable – the naturally dominant man understands conflict as something to overcome, so if you’re direct and quick, you can actually benefit from his dominance, and keep him feeling like he’s still in charge as well.

Imagine this scenario: you’ve met this guy online, he’s what you’re thinking you’d like. His income is right, his goals (which he told you of at the outset) are inline with yours. Now you’re at the chatting / chemistry stage, and you want to go slow and be sure.

“I’m thinking I’ll come see you this weekend,” he says.
You weren’t expecting that, but it’s doable. Hey, at least he wants to meet! “I should be able to do that,” you say. “What are we doing?”
“I haven’t decided yet,” he says. “Lunch maybe. It’s kind of a long drive – I might get a hotel room.”

Now you’re wondering if he expects you to put out from the first date. You don’t know this person and you don’t want to be treated like a whore. You start to hem and haw, and you he seems to be frustrated with you, trying to nail you down with his texts, and becoming pushy.

And he may be just that – the guy who wants to hit it one time and roll. But you can tell right away:

“I haven’t decided yet,” he says. “Lunch maybe. It’s kind of a long drive – I might get a hotel room.”
“Let’s nail something down, so I know what to wear,” you say.

The difference: you’ve given him something to act on. The naturally dominant man is a PROBLEM SOLVER. You put this in front of him, he’s going to bite.

“OK – lunch,” he says. “Maybe shopping after.”
“I know a place by the mall I like,” you say, giving him a specific target. “I know what I’ll wear – want a picture of me in it?”

Because the dominant man is going to want to see you naked as a benchmark, and likely you want to see HIM with his clothes on first. Taking fifteen minutes to put an outfit on and take a selfie hasn’t just assuaged that, it’s told him that you speak his language.

Cause, effect, solution, progress. The dominant man is all about this – he attacks problems, quickly solves them, and then moves on. The stalker, on the other hand, wouldn’t have let the hotel room idea goal until he was sure he couldn’t talk you into it. He’d want you to be in the sluttiest thing you could wear, where the naturally dominant man is more likely to want you in sometime that turns him on without diverting his focus.

That means you don’t come at this guy with a lot of cleavage unless you want to fuck him right away. If you’re sporting ‘great guns’, save them for the lingerie he’s going to want to take off of you, or for the shy guy who’ll love you for tormenting him with them.

OH, speaking of tormenting – one last thing. Some guys like to be rubbed up on, teased, etc. NOT the naturally dominant man – he’s going to have no idea where you’re coming from, because he sees goals as VERY important and something to achieve. Giving him one of taking your bra off when you REALLY want your shirt rubbed will just piss you both off. SET BOUNDARIES, because he understands boundaries. You’re both local, it’s a first meeting, you want to just kiss him – say so. He crossed the country to see you, he’s staying over night, be ready to start your SD relationship and at least blow him. The naturally dominant SD will be perfectly ready to define the relationship before hand.

And he’ll respect you more if you stick to your guns, even if you’re out of his reach. If he wants you bad enough, he’ll find a way

OK, that’s it for today, my droogies. They set the stakes for the house yesterday, and are digging this week. The July 20 goal for finished house is looking more real.

So if one of you is looking to be a live in, it’s a good time to start making your argument.

SD

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4 thoughts on “Courting the naturally dominant man

  1. Thank you for writing & sharing this article. It was very helpful as a newbie SB who is an Alpha woman that chooses to be submissive with a partner.

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