Wives, Beef Stew and Why I’d Rather be a Sugar Daddy

So the other day, I’m shopping in WalMart for my weekly groceries.

The Little Treasure (my daughter) moved back in with her boyfriend and a fist-full of apologies (and four horses). Feeding them is no small chore. At the same time, I kind of ballooned up while the house was being built, so I’m more sensitive about what I eat.

That said, and I just have no reason for it, I’m in the ‘canned meats’ aisle and I see that super-big can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew, and I had to have it.

If you want to see something every woman will turn her nose up at, it’s Dinty Moore Beef Stew. It’s seriously big chunks of beef and potatoes and carrots in caramel-dyed gravy, it looks and smells like Alpo out of the can and while it tastes great (once cooked), it’s probably worse for you than beer and a cigar.

So I grab a can, and a guy standing there with his wife sees this, grunts and picks up the can next to it.

“Put that back,” his wife tells him.

He looks at me, looks at her and says, “What?”

She actually takes the can out of his hand, puts it back on the shelf and says, “You’re not eating that. That’s no good for you.”

Again, he looks at me, and I look away, biting the inside of my cheek so that I don’t crack a big smile at him. She couldn’t have humiliated him more if she’d have dropped his pants right there in the store and grabbed his balls. Personally, I’d have picked up three more cans and left HER at the WalMart, but I don’t have any marital commitments to worry about.

This poor guy had nowhere to go. He’s married or committed to a person who sees him as a child, she clearly doesn’t care about dressing him down in public and she has no stake in his dignity – all over a can of beef stew which he isn’t exactly trying to make into a staple for his family.

Ladies – this is why men of means don’t want wives. Sometimes, we just want to do something we used to do when we were in our teens, just to see if we can still do it, or to relive those times. Women, on the other hand, get it into their heads that they are the guardians of rational and that men need to be saved from themselves. Now, maybe this guy has a heart condition, or he has five boys at home who are now going to want the same thing and she’s trying to keep them off of it, or 100 other completely logical reasons for her to put that can back on the shelf.

This guy now has something to prove, and either he’s going to stress over it or he’s going to do something more belligerent later. Either way, she’s going to end up wishing he’d just eaten the stew.

Imagine if she’d said instead, “If you eat that, there’s a pair of jeans I’ve been wanting,” or “If you’re going to relive your past, I want a night where you do me like you did in the past,” or something similar. Men understand cause and effect. These are your actions, take them but this is what I want. Maybe he puts the can back on the shelf, maybe she gets this thing she’s been wanting.

More likely she just bitches about her sex life and treats herself to whatever she wants. Two more reasons to be a Sugar Daddy

Just some things to think about, my droogies.

SD

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6 thoughts on “Wives, Beef Stew and Why I’d Rather be a Sugar Daddy

    • Oh, I completely agree that we’re not talking about all women – probably the minority of women, in fact.

      But less than 1% of the population wants to rob your house, and you still lock the doors, yanno?

  1. Hey there. I am new to your blog so kindly forgive my lack of insight into your complete character. I subscribed, and enjoy your writing so far as I’ve seen it. You certainly present intriguing logic here. I wonder, is that generalisation realistic? I immediately thought about myself in that scenario (though I would be making a joke or rolling my eyes and laughing, not flipping out to embarrass a man, assuming I had one). My motivation would be compassionate. I will reference dating a younger man who had already had 2 heart attacks, and was truly *trying* to get his butt on healthy food. I certainly see your point, but what really is interesting to me is the “cause and effect” + ‘alternative approach in language’ provisions you put forth. No one tells ME what I can and cannot put in my mouth etc. I haven’t asked “permission” for anything beyond the obvious since I was about 15. Suppose that wife DID indeed behave in a classier manner, it seems to be specific stereotype that men “hate” rather than the best friend. Does that always fade, in your opinion? Are we simply not well-wired for marriage? I am growing increasingly torn on the logic behind marriage. Regardless, thanks for the article. Cheers.

    • I think that you can get too used to being in a marriage, regardless of what sex you are.

      Let’s say the guy has had 2 heart attacks and is trying to get his butt back on healthy food, which is a completely legitimate excuse for her to take the can and put it back on the shelf, as you suggest.

      Now, I am not a ‘you hurt my feelings,’ semantics kinda guy. I don’t expect any woman to write a book explaining her actions to me, either. That said, in ‘man handling,’ maybe she says, “Are you really allowed to have that with your diet?”

      She’s called the man on it like she wants to, and she’s open to escalate if she needs to, but now she’s letting the guy off gracefully.

      Sorry so long to reply

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