Bring forward the next two contestants:

Hello, my faithful droogies. It’s been a while, that’s for sure. Your beloved SD has been knocking himself out writing software for some of the biggest companies on the planet, meaning that I have to leap through more hoops than a dolphin.

I’d started to get together with a new SB named TheNurse for our purposes (I think I’ve used this before, but it’s been so long it doesn’t matter). She’s 27, has a kid (I know this breaks my no kids rule, but she’s pretty exceptional), and she has a degree in liberal arts, looking to improve herself.

She broke SD’s rule: the girl has to give up her terms first, so I put her on hold for a week and came back to her. That’s a negotiating tactic that practically never fails. Now she’s thinking, “Well, what the hell – might as well throw a grenade in the water and see if there were fish, seeing as I planned to go home anyway.” She doesn’t want to sleep with me for money (like most of these chicks seem to) and she’s not about to have all of her utilities turned off and her pets euthanized (like the rest of them). She’s sick of dating losers and she wants someone with some money, so that when she wants new shoes she doesn’t have to save until they go out of style, and she doesn’t pay for someone else’s cell and find him sexting her girlfriends.

This really works out for me. Her location doesn’t. She’s in Hotlanta – not TOO far but not around the corner, either. We’re going to meet 1/2 way and see how it goes, but I have a lot of hope for her.

I met the second because I didn’t have high hopes for the first. Been talking to her for a couple days – she’s 33, stacked like a brick freaking shit house, no kids and looking for a man who’ll dote on her as much as she wants to dote on him. This one clearly wants to be a housewife/mom and live a good life that someone else is paying for.

Both girls have white dads/black moms. Really could care less about that, except to say they both have black hair and I love black hair.

Seriously, though, my Droogies, your SD is in desperate need of a blow job. It’s been a stressful summer building the house and getting the old one torn down (which still isn’t done), winterizing (and I’m WAY behind) and getting a book out this year. I’m going to start another blog to push the book, so that’s going to take more time, and I just need to RELAX.

I took a weekend in FL and made the mistake of driving, meaning I didn’t get as much of the rest I needed, but there’s always December when things will calm down

More on the girls as things develop. I will likely tap both of them – they’re both pretty frank about it. I couldn’t tell you which is in the lead.

Yours always!