Sugar Daughters

I was just reading the always-excellent Simply Surreal Blog where I came across a question that she asked, “How would you sugar daddies react to find out that your daughter was a sugar baby?”

The first thing I did was to remember when I used to sell to Disney World (of all places), when I was into BDSM (of all things), and a very good friend of mine who worked there took me aside and, figuring that I was a freak because I knew how to program, asked if I knew about this ‘bondage and S&M stuff.’

He had a daughter, and his daughter had a profile on at 19. It showed a lot of graphic images of her that I’m sure he’d rather not have seen, and some suggestions of what she’d like done to her, which I’m sure he would rather not have known. Of course, HE was on the site simply for its porn value, though he admitted that he was interested in seeing if his wife would let him tie her up and spank her.

In fact, I DID know the girl, and she clearly liked it rough, and not too often with the same guy. The guy had guided her through life in a sort of ‘express yourself’ childhood, and I guess that’s where she took it on her own.

When it’s someone you don’t know, it’s very easy to say, “She’s just expressing herself, there’s nothing you can do.” This was about 17 years ago and even then I knew better than to post personal images to the Internet. I told him that he should let her know that, that people who hire other people go to these sites and very simply aren’t going to hire people whom they recognize except in that venue, and if she wants to put her body out there, she shouldn’t put her face.

Also, these parties were then starting to end up on the new Internet, and in fact about a year later there was the Firestone incident in Orlando where a LOT of people in the ‘scene’ were put on a porn site, other people paid to see it, a few people made a LOT of money and a LOT of people got really embarrassed.

So to the issue – what if the Little Treasure (my daughter) were to become a Sugar Baby.

Well, her current boyfriend is a complete pussy, who jumps when she snaps her fingers, and she’s starting to realize that he’s about as motivated to succeed as a lump of coal. She’s in love with him but I think she’s on her way to realize that there’s more to a husband than him being dedicated. She’s going to realize that she doesn’t want to have to save up for shoes.

After him, she could become a Sugar Baby. She likes the lifestyle. She’s pretty. She’s seen me with younger women, so she could easily say, “I could be with an older guy.”

In fact, I know I’d rather see her with a guy a little older and a lot more secure, but in fact for the next 10 years (and for the last five) younger girls are going to be picking security over everything else, because the economy is in a place where a younger guy can’t deliver.

She may not have a choice.

When it comes down to it, we do what we do. You raise your kids to stand on their feet (if you’re a conservative), and you hope they can. You talk to them about actions and consequences, and then you guide them out and hope they can find away to apply what you believed was right at the time.

I look at my dad, who was in banking his whole life. He told me that going into the military was for chumps, but the Navy was the best decision I ever made. He said you’d be crazy to start your own business, but I made it work for eight years, and in fact I would have taken it farther if I’d have been willing to lose my relationship with my kids. He wouldn’t have thought twice about that and didn’t, I let it all go to have them and begin consulting, and that’s been a success with the job AND the kids.

So, my droogies, there’s your answer, if you can decipher it



The photo shoot

Well, my droogies, I’ve mentioned a few times that there’s a book I’ve worked on, off and on, which needs a female model to complete. I tried to get it done with one Sugar Babe (the Entrepreneur), and that was a disaster.

Well, I finally buckled down, paid for the photographer and the model, and got the work done myself.

Came out great! I now have all of the female pictures I need and, when I get them back from the photographer, I’ll just need to add a few males and I’m publishing it.

You won’t be able to get it through here. Sorry – really not looking to give up my identity.

What this brought me back to is my days as a model. I was in my late teens, I came VERY close to a shot at being the Marlboro man. As it was, I made a shit ton of money for what I considered to be a fun job, and the only thing that really bothered me was how many of the photographers were gay.

It was the early 80’s and clearly NOT ok to be gay yet. With 18 years behind me, no food in me and a close-quarters dressing room, it was pretty easy for a closeted male to need to ‘adjust’ me. This was right after my very lucrative ‘teaching babies to swim’ period went to crap because the pool where we were teaching got greedy, so I had the bod and the need for money, and I put up with it for half of a year before I went on to the glamorous life of ‘bartender at a biker bar.’

So when I needed to work with this model, I knew how to motivate her expressions (she had two – somewhat pissed off and “I don’t know what you want”), and to pick my mark and turn, so what could have been a really difficult shoot with a LOT of different poses only took 3 hours.

I can tell you that, 30+ years ago, for 3 hours I would have made a LOT more than her, but then I had an agent who was a piranha (a retired female model who insisted on seeing me naked and then pretty shamelessly abused me). This girl’s model was the standard over-weight cheese-eater (think Chumley on Pawn Stars), who can about do a website and who was clearly fucking her – so at least that hasn’t changed. We talked about handsy photographers, scam shoots (“We’ve decided to go in a different direction – now that you’re here, will you do this wacky stuff?”), and having to fight for pay. She didn’t ask to see the money up front so I’m reasonably sure she was lying when she said she’d been doing this for 4 years.

It was kind of interesting but I can’t say I missed it (not that I have a choice in the matter). Girl and photographer got paid. I DID notice that I immediately referred to pictures of myself as ‘him’ when I was deciding which I wanted – but that’s a habit you don’t get out of.

As for the beloved Sugar Baby- the flu that’s been going around caught her. I dodged it. So, probably a quiet week this week

Faithfully yours,


The value of a Sugar Baby

As far as a lot of people are concerned, SB’s and SD’s both, the value in the Sugar Baby is sex, and the value of the Sugar Baby is whatever she’ll give it up for.

After that, it’s a matter of budget and availability. I read a lot of SB blogs and so many of them are high-lighted with “I scored a $1,500 pair of shoes,” or “I only had to blow him for this.”

And if that’s what you’re looking for, you can find it at a price that fits your budget, if you’re patient. You can have it until one or both of you are tired of it, and then most likely, a little older and a little wiser, you can find it again.

But are we cheating ourselves? Let’s look beyond the whole idea of May-December romance and look at the barter system inherent in the SD/SB relationship. What is the SD getting, what does he want, and can the SB provide it?

If we’re talking sex, simple enough. We’ve had this conversation before – if the SD just wants a safe source of sex, he can go to a lot of places to get it, cheaper and in a lot of cases better.

There’s a lot to be said for the SB who legitimately wants to SEE her SD. The one who isn’t so clearly thinking, “Buy me,” as much as she is “Tell me.”

Tell me about your day

Tell me about your life.

Tell me what you’re dreaming of, and tell me why.

Let me tell you about ME.

And not just relationship basics of “You have to share,” but actually seeking out the things that her SD is looking for and, if not being a source of them, being a guide to them.

Meanwhile, the SD needs to ask himself, if he can find it, can he handle it. Plenty of them can’t or won’t. If you’re a guy (or with a guy) who just wants some sex when he’s horny, don’t waste your time, but I think a lot of women are going to find that their SD is seeking that deeper, better, more meaningful relationship which actually starts off as a transaction, is actually BUILT on that transaction, and then that transaction takes on new depth, new meaning and more significance.

Same with SB’s – some just want to lay down, put their head to the side, moan gratefully for 20 minutes and get a new pair of earrings. There’s plenty of them out there, plenty of men for them and, frankly, a lot of them are looked at as the bulk of the industry.

But here I’m asking you to ask yourself – are you missing out on that better relationship? Do you want the ear rings, or do you want a more special something, more tailored to you, more meaningful, because the SD actually know and cares who you are?

OK, that’s your philosophy lesson for the week, my droogies. Hope I gave you something to think about

Loyally yours


Just finished The Fovean Chronicles

Good morning, my droogies. Thought I would enter this in before the playoffs. I have a real stake in both Seattle and New England today, so we’ll see how that goes.

Because television has been SO BAD in the last year, I’ve been reading more. I like fantasy novels, but I really don’t get into this new beta male character who’s constantly apologizing for his inadequacies, or for women who weight 100 lbs soaking wet, who can kick the ass of a 300 lb weight lifter.

So, I’m more about Lucy Lawless in Spartacus than Lucy Lawless in Xena. Even then, Lucy is over 6′ tall and probably COULD kick the ass of a man about her size.

A friend of mine thought I would enjoy ‘The Fovean Chronicles’ by Robert Brady. I’d actually read a tech manual by him, way back when, so I was thinking, “OK, this is really going to suck,” but it was only 99 cents on Kindle, so what the hell?

I really, REALLY enjoyed it. Plenty of action, plenty of sub plots – another problem with the books of today is that there’s a goal, the main character sees it, he goes after it, you know he’s going to get it, he does, book over. Boring and predictable (and easy to review, which is why authors write that way). In the first book, Indomitus Est (he is untamable, essentially), a man from our world finds himself in another where there’s magic, and where there are gods plying for power, and he’s the pawn of one of them, called ‘War.’

He has a lot of hang ups, which I liked, and he makes mistakes, which I also liked. He also doesn’t actually know what he’s doing there, or what he’s supposed to do which, if you’re a reviewer, is probably really irritating. For me it was more realistic – it takes time to figure out what your life is about. By the first 1/3 of book 2, Indomitus Vivat (the untamable one lives), he’s figured it out, and he realizes not only how bad it is, but its effect on him.

Book three rolls around and all of the sudden the author has switched from a first person narrative to a free-floating third person, telling the story from the perspective of everyone BUT the main character. I almost put the book down but I pressed on, and I was glad I did because it answered a lot of questions for me. Now there’s an older man from Earth and he’s got a young girl with him who really loves him (I could completely identify with that), and they’re here trying to decide if they want to fight the main character or join him.

The fourth book, ‘Indomitus Sum,’ (I’m a little confused on the latin here, but I think it’s ‘We are the untamable one’) comes in the same format and now I’m used to it. At this point he’s throwing a lot of latin and a lot of power around. World-shaking wars are happening, people are picking and shifting sides, you don’t really know who is allied to whom and why, except that maybe it will change. In the end you’re pretty sure about how the wars will go, but the consequences on the man are harder to tell. The ending lets you know there will be more books.

I liked it. It kept me reading, it’s funny in a sort of droll way, and I felt that if I met one of the characters on the street, I’d recognize him. You can buy it on Amazon, and the website for it is here: .

Enjoy the football, my droogies!


Dinner and new tires

Another date with the Sugar Baby. Another great time

Tonight it was dinner and drinks after. She also needed new tires for her car. It was a great time – great conversation, a lot of opening up on her part

What I really enjoy about this relationship is that I’m not a hermit anymore – definitely no longer on the track I was taking. She feels bad about needing things (but who at 26 didn’t?). From my point of view, seriously, what good is the money if it just becomes a means to an end.

She’s coming around tomorrow so we can fool around. Probably hit the hot tub again – that thing was SUCH a great investment.

This is turning out to be very much what I’ve been looking for, and I’m really grateful to have it.

Update on the new girl

Hello, my droogies.

Well, to get the short story out of the way, I cancelled with the girl in Ohio, citing work problems. I haven’t heard from her since. Work problems is guy talk for “I’m no longer interested in you,” and I think she knows that.

Things with the new girl, who’s local, are amazing. First of all, she’s not your common SB gold-digger. Our arrangement has very quickly become, “Let me know when you need something, and I’ll get it for you.” She needed a grand to get ahead of her bills, and she needs new tires for her car, which we’re doing on Friday. Meanwhile we just saw each other for the third time, and the last two have been here at the house because she doesn’t like going out that much.

Last Sunday was sex for the first time. We warmed up the hot tub and then hit the sheets. It was awesome. Tonight it was just to come see me, so kissing on the couch, a soda and watching part of The Curst of Oak Island. One of her degrees is anthropology so there was some interest there, and it makes the both of us history buffs, so there is ALWAYS something to talk about.

So this is turning out really well, and is the dream situation that I’ve been looking for. Of course, a week into it, the relationship always is.

As for my personal life – work is getting complicated. When you’re a miracle worker, the people who hire you always seem to need bigger miracles. In this case it’s a spontaneous drop-dead date of next Friday, and then changing all of the criteria for the software I’m writing after 2 months. Hey, look – if people were smart, I’d be drinking cheap beer, and THAT isn’t happening any time soon.

Take care, my droogies! I’ll be updating more


Well, this has never happened before

If you’ve been following the blog like a loyal droogie, then you know how these relationships usually go:

I meet two or three women.
I get to know them.
Maybe I meet one of them
I find something wrong with each of them
I’m on to the next

So imagine my surprise earlier this week when I find a local girl looking, 26 years old, VERY pretty. Now, things have been going pretty well with the girl I’m seen next week (much as we haven’t met, she hasn’t asked for anything). I really wasn’t looking and I figured that the world had to be looking for this girl (because there are just NOT many SB’s in East TN), so I wasn’t expecting anything when I sent her an email.

She responded back and told me what she was looking for. Oddly, it was what I’m looking for. As we all know, there are three types of SB’s:

Smart whores
Bad accountants
Women who simply want a rich boyfriend

She’s a bad accountant, but she’s not upfront about it. She’s a very tall girl (taller than I am, and I’m 6′), she’s had a kid, pretty eyes and no job-stoppers (you know – facial tattoos, earlobe expanders, facial piercings). She could simply have a regular boyfriend (and has), but she says they treat her wrong.

We met this morning for breakfast, which I haven’t done with an SB before. It wasn’t bad – it meant I couldn’t sleep in on Saturday and I had to rush through feeding the horses (and it was 17 degrees this morning, so it didn’t lend itself to rushing). She was a little late but not much, and she called first.

It was REALLY good. From here we went for a walk, probably did a mile and a half. She’s in boots and jeans, I’m in jeans and my five-finger sneakers, so I’m keeping up with her. She kept the conversation going, telling me about her life, her dreams, her family, her pets. Not getting much baby-mama drama and her ex doesn’t live anywhere near here, which is good.

I don’t like when the conversation is all about me. Nothing new there – I know what I do. Some women talk nervously, though, when they aren’t happy, so I ask her how she’s enjoying it.

Like me, she REALLY is. We get back to the car, we talk a little more, and we kiss, also good. We then talk about going forward with this.

She’s an SB because she’s behind on her bills and can’t keep up with them. She’s almost in tears at this point. She doesn’t want to need money but she can’t make it – she has two degrees as well. I can understand – no one has money when they’re in their 20’s. She’s currently about $1,200 in a hole, but she doesn’t want it all yet.

She also doesn’t want to be pay-to-play. She understands what SD’s want, but can’t we work it out a different way.

She’s a smart, take-charge kinda girl. She’s coming to the house tomorrow to see where I live (and, of course, the cleaning girl blew me off this weekend, meaning I get to clean the place myself), so we’ll see where this is leading, but the good-bye kiss I got when I dropped her off at her car was pretty eager and emphatic. She even called while she was driving home to tell me again how good a time she had, so I have to think she’s excited.

So here’s the dealio – what do we do with the other girl, who’s coming out here next weekend?

And, added to that, the job has me on a deadline for the 19th. I am REALLY not going to have time for this hunny this weekend and need to cancel, anyway. Normally, I’d wait for the girl to screw up, and then use that as a reason to end it, but this is a pretty good girl who doesn’t screw up, she just doesn’t have home-court advantage.

I’m thinking at this point that she gets to take her chance, just like the one I met, and then I decide. I simply don’t want them both no matter how good each is – not that kinda guy.

So the mix gets mixy, doesn’t it, my droogies?