This happens in and out of the sugar bowl – I can sort of see why it happens, but it never should.
I get a call this morning, and it’s from the new girl. I’m working so I don’t answer, so she sends a text to say it’s important.
I call her back. Her god mother’s car has broken down, can she use my AAA to get a free tow?
Seriously – WTF? I understand that you want to help your god mother, that she’s important in your life, whatever. I pay for AAA so I can use it if I need to. Your god mother doesn’t think to take care of this and now I’m supposed to drop everything, run down to where her car is broken down and wait for AAA to get there?
No. So I tell her (truthfully) I’m working on a program, it’s going to take all day, I don’t have time.
“So, how about after work?”
In other words, you’re going to push this. Mothers, teach your daughters: No means, “No.” When a guy says, “I don’t want to do something,” even if you get him to do it by some work-around or word game, you’re going to get a LOT of resentment for pushing it, which is what I’m feeling now.
“Well, we’re still getting together today, right?”
No, we’re fucking not, because now I’m pissed off at you, this comes after a big argument with the Little Treasure last night, and frankly I’m going to be alone for a while now. While I like you a lot, this relationship is young, and easy-in is easy-out.
The Little Treasure (my daughter, for those new to the blog) defined herself by the other line that is bad to cross: being late. I was going out to eat, I called her and her ‘man’ and asked if they weren’t doing anything. I told them that if they can make it to the restaurant I was going to in 20 minutes, I’d buy dinner. “Oh, yeah – no problem.”
I sit at a table like a chump for 1/2 an hour waiting for them, when I get a text saying, “They’re almost there, they ran an errand first.”
In other words, “I want a free dinner, but hey, I’m not going to be inconvenienced. That’s for you – after all, I’m letting you buy us dinner.”
So I took the order to go and, just as it was about to be delivered, they show up, and I tell them to roust the fuck out. Of COURSE the Little Treasure believes that I need to understand that she’s a busy person, so I start looking for the manager to kick her out for me, and she’s gone.
When I got home I cancelled her credit cards. Enjoying being busy and important.
The new girl could NOT have known that she was piling on this. What she SHOULD have known is that I’m in a relationship with HER, not her fucking extended family. I don’t even want to MEET these people, I sure as hell don’t want to drive for an hour to bail them out with my AAA card so that I can end up paying for my own tow later. There are lines in a relationship that you just don’t cross. Be it the Sugar Bowl or a normal relationship, your boyfriend/ significant other isn’t your errand boy, and the fact that I thought to take care of myself doesn’t mean that I’m here to take care of slacker relations who don’t think to take care of themselves
It’s not like I’m asking her to run out and pick up my dry cleaning, clean my house or do my grocery shopping for me, and she’d likely feel pretty cheap if I did.
OK, that’s all from your angry SD, my droogies. We’ll see how this all works out