Why does a 20 year old want a 50 year old like me?
OK, I have money, but I’m not a lotto winner. I’m overweight (working on it – price of programming), full head of hair (but I’m letting it grow long so I can donate it to Panteen to make wigs for cancer patients, so I look like hell). My job is stable but it involves me sitting in front of a computer most of the time, so I’m that irritating “guy who’s here but not here” that women really, REALLY hate.
So I look at my competition. Oh, my God – what have we done to America?
A boy is born in the US today and they hustle him into school as fast as they can, telling his mother that she’s not a whole woman if she doesn’t have “a job.” Like raising children isn’t a real job? My mom was an alcoholic disaster who beat me, but she was there.
In school, the boy is told that anything aggressive is bad. He’s told that when you compete, it’s “just for fun” and there really are no winners. He’s told it’s OK to play sports, but why keep score? That’s no fun! Just kick the ball. When it’s time for awards, everyone gets one so that no one feels bad.
If he steps out of this role (and every hormone in his body is telling him to) then he’s on Ritalin faster than you can punish him, which they also do. The only time it’s acceptable to single out anyone is when the growing boy steps out of this crushing role. Then he has a teacher of either sex telling him how aggression needs to be suppressed, success is a trick, no one has a chance so accept mediocrity.
Socially, he’s told that even touching a girl without permission is a crime. He’s told that he can’t look at her and that anything more than “good morning” and “you look ‘sharp'” are offensive and, of course, punishable. On TV, he sees women who are strong and smart and capable, who can beat the ass of men three times their size, and men who are dopey, weak (except as bad guys) and desperately need guidance.
In his video games and on what passes for literature for him, women are buxom, powerful and, always, correct. Even the villains.
Strong women don’t bring a man down – far from it. But the 20 year old today has been thoroughly indoctrinated in the idea that a woman’s strength CANNOT be challenged – that’s oppression by males and one of the worst things a man can do. Every time he’s tried to assert himself, he’s been told, “That’s too aggressive,” as he’s informed that his female compatriots doing the same thing are, “Empowering themselves.”
Boys being boys has become a warning, rather than a way of life.
So now he’s in his 20’s and probably hasn’t gone to college (in the US, women outnumber males in college and male attendance is at a record low). He’s doing what work he can find, which right now isn’t much after grunt labor, and there are plenty in line for that. Thanks to a lifetime of medication and being told, “No, don’t assert yourself,” he lacks the strength of character to pull himself up by his boot straps. He lives with his parents or with whoever will pay for him, he loses himself in a world of video games and other distractions, and he lets life pass him by.
Why bother doing anything else? If he goes out to meet women, God help him if he finds one. The laws are so unevenly skewed to punish him that it’s not worth the risk.
For example, by almost every law in every state, a man and a woman go to a bar, have a couple drinks, go home together and have sex.
She has MONTHS to decide that she was unfit to give consent. He is busted the moment she does. Even if the case doesn’t make, it’s on his record forever. God help him if she was under 18 using a fake ID (a felony). In that case he’s classified as a sex offender and his life is ruined.
So our young male, even if he CAN date, had better be willing to ask for ID or take his chances. No wonder there’s been in upsurge in ‘cougars,’ older women who like younger men. At least the male is safe! It also plays in to this whole subservient role he’s been thrust into. In fact, it probably makes perfect sense to him that she’s the provider, director and pursuer.
So here’s the young woman in her 20’s, and she’s been so ‘acknowledged for her strength’ that she’s about to vomit. Frankly, she’s had a hard week where she makes barely more than her counterpart does (but has college to pay off) and and she doesn’t WANT to decide where to eat, what to eat, what to see, where to go after, how far they’re going, when and how it should feel. She wants a MALE, and she just can’t find one.
Even military guys are letting her down because THAT’s become a joke. Boot camp is now ‘camp,’ because boots hurt their feet. They’re indoors for the entire experience, they can call a time out if it’s too stressful, they can call for an administrative review of what’s going on at ANY time, and they go home on weekends. They can leave the service in 60 days if it’s “not for them.”
I served for 7 years and I can tell you, with that preparation, they’re coming home from our next war in body bags.
So she finds me. I’d say more than half of the girls I talk to don’t just want a tough guy, they’re so wound up they want a rough guy. “Spank me!” “Tie me up!” “Punish me.” Hear it all the time. I’m the first to say, “Don’t BDSM with strangers.” There’s a million horror stories of people getting set up or ending up with more than they can handle, but in the long view it all fits. She’s so riled up, those endorphins are howling to her.
This was long, my droogies, but it’s heart felt, and I don’t expect anyone to agree with all of it, but it’s just sad who quickly the American male, who chased down goals and taught himself how to do ANYTHING and still had time for a wife and kids, is this pathetic, helpless, directionless couch mold.
Yours, as ever,