Some common mistakes I see Sugar Babies making

Ok, my droogies, let’s get off of the topic of the disaster which is the Little Treasure’s wedding, and focus back on the whole topic of Sugaring.

As I look through the personal ads on various media where SB’s post their stats, I see some mistakes that happen over and over, and which usually mark those ads that are up for about six days and then end in frustration.

First of all, your nick name. Don’t call yourself, “Princess,” “Goddess,” “Queen” – you likely think they’re empowering. In fact, you’re telling prospective Sugar Daddies, “I am REALLY high maintenance.”

Second, in the body of your ad, don’t say, “I deserve this lifestyle.” Now you’ve just loudly proclaimed, “I’ve got issues and, most likely, baggage from other guys who’ve wronged me, and you’re going to pay for their crimes.”

If you’re going to put up a profile pic, smile in it. Do something fun. If you’ve got nice cleavage or a firm ass or seductive legs, then let’s see them! And, seriously, what the hell is up with you girls who take pictures of yourselves behind the wheel of your car? Do you not understand that there is NO WAY to look good with a seat belt on?

Putting in your description a list of things you hate or won’t do is an exceptional turn off and, again, you’re telling the world you’re carrying a lot of baggage. And while it’s great to say you have kids, don’t say, “My kids are everything to me and always come first.” First of all, that’s implied and, second, what you’re saying now is, “I don’t have a lot of time, and I will cancel on you frequently.”

If you don’t want your daddy to think he’s going to have you over his knee with your panties around your ankles, then don’t mention 50 Shades of Gray. I know – most people who talk about it have neither seen the movie nor read the book. That doesn’t make it cool to be one of them.

Now, here’s the big one: lying about your age:

You know why most guys look for a girl SO much younger than they are? Because most women lie about their age, so in order to get someone in her 40’s, I look for someone in her 30’s.

You might think that the 10 year old picture that you’re posting of yourself is going to fool someone, but in fact, hair styles have changed a LOT in 10 years, and while I might not know WHAT is wrong, I’ll know something is wrong, and now I’m suspicious of you. Also, airbrushing or paintbrushing wrinkles around your eyes might convince YOU, it will just look like an altered picture to me.

Most women just lie and don’t change anything, if they chose to lie. Again, a 40 year old doesn’t look like a 30 year old, and the same can be said for 30 and 20. Men look at pictures. A LOT. The Internet is all about images, and we’re all about the Internet. You are going to do SO much better saying, “I’m 45 but have the energy of a 25 year old,” than saying, “I’m a 35 year old,” when you’re 45.

The other end of the scale here – if you lie about being an adult, you can get your SD into a world of hurt that he won’t be able to do anything about. If, for example, you say you’re 18 and you’re 16, and you fly out to meet an adult male, the moment you make contact he’s a felon. In most states, a guy can’t say, “She lied to me about here age,” as a defense – it’s assumed that all men ask all women for their IDs before they start dating.”

What’s more – you do this once, come to your senses, go home, and a year later tell your mom about it. He can STILL go to jail!

That’s it for today, my droogies. I’ll have a better update for you later

Love always

SD

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Courting the naturally dominant man

Sugar babies will often say they meet two types of SD’s:

The type who ask, “Can I see more pictures of you?”

And the type who say, “Take a couple pictures of yourself when you get home and then send them to me.”

If you wonder why you see a lot more of the latter, it’s because that is a naturally dominant man, and he’s a LOT more likely to be successful. He tends to do what he says he’s going to do, including break it off if he doesn’t get his way.

Most people consider him an asshole. He’s not – he is, in fact, trying to facilitate matters and has no idea that you might feel like you’re being ordered around. If he’s started ‘telling’ you what to do, it’s because he’s comfortable with you, and in his mind he’s trying to close the deal, at least in the first stages.

But you don’t need to just swallow this if it makes you uncomfortable – the naturally dominant man understands conflict as something to overcome, so if you’re direct and quick, you can actually benefit from his dominance, and keep him feeling like he’s still in charge as well.

Imagine this scenario: you’ve met this guy online, he’s what you’re thinking you’d like. His income is right, his goals (which he told you of at the outset) are inline with yours. Now you’re at the chatting / chemistry stage, and you want to go slow and be sure.

“I’m thinking I’ll come see you this weekend,” he says.
You weren’t expecting that, but it’s doable. Hey, at least he wants to meet! “I should be able to do that,” you say. “What are we doing?”
“I haven’t decided yet,” he says. “Lunch maybe. It’s kind of a long drive – I might get a hotel room.”

Now you’re wondering if he expects you to put out from the first date. You don’t know this person and you don’t want to be treated like a whore. You start to hem and haw, and you he seems to be frustrated with you, trying to nail you down with his texts, and becoming pushy.

And he may be just that – the guy who wants to hit it one time and roll. But you can tell right away:

“I haven’t decided yet,” he says. “Lunch maybe. It’s kind of a long drive – I might get a hotel room.”
“Let’s nail something down, so I know what to wear,” you say.

The difference: you’ve given him something to act on. The naturally dominant man is a PROBLEM SOLVER. You put this in front of him, he’s going to bite.

“OK – lunch,” he says. “Maybe shopping after.”
“I know a place by the mall I like,” you say, giving him a specific target. “I know what I’ll wear – want a picture of me in it?”

Because the dominant man is going to want to see you naked as a benchmark, and likely you want to see HIM with his clothes on first. Taking fifteen minutes to put an outfit on and take a selfie hasn’t just assuaged that, it’s told him that you speak his language.

Cause, effect, solution, progress. The dominant man is all about this – he attacks problems, quickly solves them, and then moves on. The stalker, on the other hand, wouldn’t have let the hotel room idea goal until he was sure he couldn’t talk you into it. He’d want you to be in the sluttiest thing you could wear, where the naturally dominant man is more likely to want you in sometime that turns him on without diverting his focus.

That means you don’t come at this guy with a lot of cleavage unless you want to fuck him right away. If you’re sporting ‘great guns’, save them for the lingerie he’s going to want to take off of you, or for the shy guy who’ll love you for tormenting him with them.

OH, speaking of tormenting – one last thing. Some guys like to be rubbed up on, teased, etc. NOT the naturally dominant man – he’s going to have no idea where you’re coming from, because he sees goals as VERY important and something to achieve. Giving him one of taking your bra off when you REALLY want your shirt rubbed will just piss you both off. SET BOUNDARIES, because he understands boundaries. You’re both local, it’s a first meeting, you want to just kiss him – say so. He crossed the country to see you, he’s staying over night, be ready to start your SD relationship and at least blow him. The naturally dominant SD will be perfectly ready to define the relationship before hand.

And he’ll respect you more if you stick to your guns, even if you’re out of his reach. If he wants you bad enough, he’ll find a way

OK, that’s it for today, my droogies. They set the stakes for the house yesterday, and are digging this week. The July 20 goal for finished house is looking more real.

So if one of you is looking to be a live in, it’s a good time to start making your argument.

SD

Some words of wisdom for Sugar Daddies

One thing that I guarantee you, from years of personal experience:

If you let it, the Internet will eat you alive, spit out the bones, double-bill you for the meal and steal the tip.

You’re doing this online because you’re busy, and you’re likely frustrated with the women you’re finding in the ‘real world.’ You don’t want to be the pathetic older guy trying to scam young hotties at a bar, you damn sure aren’t going to find someone at work, and it is worth your limited time to spend the money and ‘get what you want.’ You can save yourself a lot of grief by following the following, simple rules.

1. Know what you want. Actually write the words down (throw them out once you’re sure of them). Commit your mind to ‘I want to bang a girl in her mid-twenties every time I’m in Vegas,’ or ‘I want to meet a young girl, have a second family in my 40’s/50’s, live in a house with a picket fence and wear slippers.’ It doesn’t matter what you want, because there are girls out there to provide it IF YOU YOURSELF KNOW.

2. Decide what woman meets your needs. There are three types of SB’s: bad accountants, smart whores and wanna-be girlfriends. You are ONLY going to meet women who have dug themselves into a financial hole and can’t get out, women who have decided that they like fucking for money, and women who think that SD’s are just wealthy guys like any other, and an SD site is a place to meet them.

Bad accountants need money, usually pretty badly, pretty quickly, and are more desperate for it. They’re more likely to be receptive to a long-term relationship, but they aren’t going to screw around with texts and emails, because they can’t. They wish they weren’t doing this, so they’re more likely to be focused on one guy, maybe a couple if they have to, and they’re the ones who are going to have the hardest time talking money. You’ll usually get the best ‘deal’ from them if they believe you’re going to stay around.

Smart whores are in this for the cash hit. Their profile will ALWAYS be ‘Strictly SD/SB relationship.’ They’ll tend to have better bodies, because it’s a sales necessity. They’ll get right to the money, usually want an allowance for x-number of meetings per month, and they’ll always have other guys on the side. These are the ones who go from bimbo-to hard-eyed negotiator in the space of a hiccup. They’ll base their charge on your physical shape, and they won’t cry when you break up with them. They could care less if you’re married – some prefer it.

Wanna-be girlfriends will ALWAYS be looking for something more than SD/SB, some won’t even talk money and most want gifts instead. They don’t expect to put out right away because they are actually dating. You’re being fitted for a wedding ring out of the gate with these girls. They’ll want someone who is settled, single, stable, and good enough looking that they won’t be embarrassed to be seen with you. You’re going to meet this girl’s friends and relatives, just like any other girlfriend.

3. NEVER be the first to bat with a price. If the girl wants an allowance, straight up ask her, “What do you need?” Expect her to ask, “What are you looking for?” Because you know, you can tell her in definite terms, and do NOT shade or lie. “I want to see you every other weekend for the whole weekend, and stay in a hotel room with you.” Don’t be crude, but don’t be vague. She already knows how much she wants and how much she needs. If she absolutely won’t spit out a price then remember that this is, at least at the beginning, no different from any other business transaction: low-ball it, expecting her to ask for at least double that.

4. Remember three simple terms: quid pro quo. This for that. A lot of these girls will want thousands up front, even before a meeting, especially the bad accountants. You pay it all up front and you have pretty much taken away the reason why they’re doing this, and it’s not like they’re ever going to pay you back. Whatever it is you want, make sure you get it before you start paying for it. The worst thing you can do is to teach your SB that you’re an ATM machine that she can hit when she’s light.

5. Don’t be stingy. I’ve heard girls talk about guys who want them to pay for the motel room, who want to work out some sort of tax-evasion scam with them involved, etc. Don’t be stupid – this is your hobby. If she’s stressing over a billing scheme, you’re not going to get her best game. At the same time if you take her out and then tell her, “You thought you could put her allowance on your credit card,” or “I’ll pay you double next time,” you’re going to ruin whatever it is you think you have. You could also end up on a ‘beware of this SD’ site, and that’s pretty much death for you.

6. Don’t be needy. It’s weak and it’s off-putting. Texting her, “I love you’s” “for no reason” may seem romantic to you – but getting there before her is going to throw up flags for her. Blowing up her text during working hours or keeping her up all night talking on the phone is going to seem like a waste of her time if you’re not paying for it. Remember – begin this as a business transaction.

7. At the same time, don’t be too distant. If you go the whole week and don’t message her, she’ll likely think you found someone better. Even the smart whores want to hear from you every three days. A ‘is everything cool with you’ text on Tuesday and the Fridays you don’t meet says, “I’m happy with you,” and keeps things cool

8. Don’t get too kinky right away. You may like to tie girls up and spank them, or you may have a HELL of a member and you REALLY want to show her what you can do with it, or you might think that doing it in the shed for sale at Home Depot is the ultimate experience. More power to you – don’t think that this girl is (a) down with it (b) impressed by it or (c) going to just take it with a smile.

Send her on her way with bruises and you’re daring her to report you. She does, and you’re done – there is NO WAY you’re getting the benefit of the doubt when a girl 20 years younger than you says, “I met him on the Internet and he beat me.” By the way, all of those ‘consensual violence’ you can download from BDSM sites are worth exactly what you’re paying for them. She can simply say, “He made me sign that,” and it’s out the window, even if you notarize it.

There ARE women out there who get into this situation just for this reason. Be very wary of the woman who wants to come to your home to be tied up in your dungeon on a first date. There was actually a woman doing this in Florida a few years ago – she’d ask for a drink of water and call 911 on her cell phone. The guy would get picked up, and she’d rob his house with her boyfriend. It took a really long time to catch her, and a lot of guys had some pretty high legal bills because of her.

If BDSM is your thing, then go to a BDSM site – there are young girls there who like older guys. Even then, don’t count on her going full-bore from the first date. I would say that, if you both are into spanking, lashing, rough sex, candle wax, what-have-you, then you ease into it slowly, letting trust build, saving many, many emails and texts where you’ve discussed it and she’s said how much she wants it done to her.

9. Scammers: about 1/2 of the girls you’ll talk to are trying to separate you from your money and will do as little as possible to get it. Most of them are pretty smart about it. Don’t expect this girl to say, “I’m a model stranded in Nigeria, and if you Western Union me $4000 cash, I’ll come home and be yours.” You’re more likely to see, “I need $250 now,” then “I need $500 a week from now,” then “Send me another $500 for some sexy lingerie before we meet,” and then, “Oh, man! My mom is really sick! I’ll have to meet you in a couple weeks,” before she disposes of her disposable phone and surprises you and the other 10 guys she strung along. You might see $1,250 as an unfortunate mistake, where she’s just pocketed 13 large for 2 weeks of work, and now it’s time to change her profile, get a new phone at WalMart and line up the next ten one-handed typers.

Avoid scammers very quickly by asking for a specific picture right away, such as her holding her right earlobe, and tell her why. The scammers will just go away and find someone not-as-smart. Some WILL trying to provide you with a similar girl doing a similar thing – I had one who had three different hair lengths, different tan lines, different body tones, swearing it was just the lighting. If you can speak to her on Skype, that’s the best of all worlds.

Do NOT be afraid to ask for naked pictures if you have to travel to meet this girl, or fly her to you. You’d be surprised how much leeway there is in ‘a few extra pounds.’ You have a right to be attracted to the person you’re looking for. The serious girls will come to a compromise with you – the ones who won’t often have something to hide.

10. There’s one last aspect to any set of rules: knowing when to break them.

You could meet a girl perfect for you, who is simply deep in a hole, and she’s going to reward your generosity with loyalty her whole life

You could meet the nympho of your dreams who is going to give you a year of weekends in Vegas better than you ever dreamed of and, no matter how wild you want it, she’s there for you

You could meet your next and final wife, who like you just never met the right one, until now.

God bless you if it happens. Don’t ACT like it’s a given. Most people who are going to lie won’t put it in writing – they’re more suspicious than you are and they’ll just disappear.

Remember – it’s a business transaction, at least to start. It may or may not change, but if you start with your feet on the ground, you’re a lot less likely to fly into a mountainside.

SD